I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
