So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
