Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
What drink are we having for lunch?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Randomize
