for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Randomize