4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
