I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I need help removing her.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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