Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
