That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
