I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize