Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
