she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
