it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
