And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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