Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
