absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
