I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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