hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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