He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize