Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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