So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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