i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
