coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
