sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
