is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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