i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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