You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
