I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
