Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Someone signed my nipple.
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