after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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