I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
