Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
