ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
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