I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
