So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
