using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
