Sry I called you an 8
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
