I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
