ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
