"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
It's rum buckets o'clock
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
