He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
