Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
