I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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