I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I have fence marks all over my body
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
