I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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