So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
