The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
