oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
