we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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