Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
