Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
