now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Randomize
