you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
