is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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