I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
only if we run a train.
done.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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