I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
