fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
