i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
