i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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