after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
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