I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Randomize
