Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
